You are bulging with your own creative force…
I recently dreamed that a friend of mine (a bohemian, free-spirited type) was pregnant with a son. She came to stay with me while I was vacationing with my mom at her friends’ hunting lodge. The hosts were scrambling to make room for us to sleep on two large mattresses on the floor. The room was devoid of furniture with the exception of an over-sized television on rollers that was placed right at the foot of the two mattresses. The only light in the room was the flickering t.v. set.
My friend could not get comfortable due to her condition. She proceeded to tell me her 65 year old father had recently had a child (a son) with his second wife. Neither of us could believe that he had been so brash, nor that the birth of her son would now be in competition with her father’s new pride and joy.
Despite being far along in her pregnancy, she pleaded with me to find her some type of consciousness altering recreational drug – either ecstasy or lsd. I endeavored to debate with her about this for obvious reasons.
What does it all mean?
According to Jungian dream analysis, the subconscious (i.e. dreams) communicates via symbolism. All the ideas, experiences, objects and people that populate your waking life are internalized and shelved in your mind’s conscious library.
Your subconscious uses these stored images and concepts to represent information and situations you may be hashing out with yourself on a deeper level.
After analyzing, what do I believe my subconscious is putting forth?
Backstory – I am currently endeavoring to put my creative ideas out “there”, hence the recent creation of this blog, as well as research and writing of young adult fiction. I am having a hell of a time talking myself into being “good enough”.
My friend’s free spirited personality, as a representation of a facet of myself, is pregnant with creation – in this case, the masculine creative animus. However, this aspect of me is under heavy influence of authority figures (ie – parental figures – parents, parent’s friends, my friend’s parents). There also resides the competitive element of authority figures’ creations/births – their idea/ideal of what form my creative birth should take. See their model? = the son of my friend’s father.
Trying to get comfortable under the sphere of social / authority pressure and influence is not possible – hence, no furniture, beds on the floor, no lights, and an over-sized television flickering right in your face (large scale social influence). The desire to take a conscious altering substance in order to bring about creative thinking is strong, even though the free spirit in me is already bulging/pregnant with my own brand of creativity ready for birth.
Moral of the story: You will always be under the pressure of social influence and criticism. But, you are on your own journey and full of your own ideas and creative force ready for expression. Express them as you see fit – write what needs to come forth without governing your flow of ideas out of fear of social pressure, competition and criticism. Put yourself out there…scary, I know.
Do you have any contributions? What has your subconscious been trying to tell you? Do you struggle with the fear of critique, or have you mastered the art of expressing yourself without fear? If so, please share…
If you are interested in further reading of dream analysis, I highly recommend the following book…